How to Find Caregivers for Your Parents

Helping your parents enjoy the luxury of in-home care comes with its challenges. While it’s a gift to be able to support their choice to stay at home, finding the right caregiver for your parents can be frustrating and discouraging for everyone involved. If you’re navigating this season for the first time, you may be wondering how to find a caregiver in the first place. If you’ve been in it for a while, you could be feeling the burnout of not finding care options that your parents enjoy. And there’s a good chance Mom and Dad are worn out by the loss of independence, limited privacy, and a parade of unfamiliar faces on top of the challenges of getting older.

An estimated 73% of today’s workforce spends 20-30 hours per week caring for a family member. Even if you’re organizing care instead of providing it yourself, it takes a significant amount of mental and physical energy. Let’s discuss ways to identify a caregiver who’s the right fit for your parents so you can support Mom and Dad more effectively while helping them feel respected and loved.

The Challenges and Choices When Finding Care for Your Parents 

From a practical standpoint, you’ll need to begin by identifying how much in-home support they need. If mobility or memory challenges are involved, your parents may need 24/7 care. If their needs are more along the lines of house help and meal preparation, daytime care 5 days a week may suffice. And if they have more significant medical conditions, you’ll need to opt for qualified nursing care. Once you know what type of care they need, you’ll need to consider the cost. 24/7 in-home care can cost as much as $200,000 annually. While skilled nursing care and durable medical equipment may be covered by Medicare, many caregiving costs aren’t covered. As you navigate options with your parents, some difficult financial conversations may be necessary, which is why we encourage you to talk about it well beforehand.

When finding care for parents, you’ll want to consider the pros and cons of going through an organization or hiring individuals. Finding care through an agency allows you to offload some tasks like background checks, scheduling, and finding substitute care if a caregiver is sick or on vacation. However, hiring independent caregivers means you and your parents can hire exactly who you want, and the cost will be lower. If you opt for independent care, make sure you perform a background check or only hire individuals strongly recommended by a trusted source.

As you help your parents with these important decisions, keep in mind how difficult this season can be for them. They’re dealing with the challenge of decreased independence, adjusting to strangers coming into their home, and are likely dealing with the fact that they may need help in ways that feel like an intrusion on their privacy. Gently reminding them that this season is a privilege may be one of the best ways to help. Not everyone has the luxury of staying in their home as they age. In a season of decreased autonomy, in-home care can help your parents maintain their dignity and the privilege of choice much more than they could in an assisted living facility. As cliche as it sounds, an attitude of gratitude really can make a difference in quality of life. Sometimes a gentle reminder and a compassionate conversation can make a world of difference.

With that in mind, here are some tips for finding, hiring, and equipping the right caregiver.

• Engage their choice. Helping your parents feel like their wishes are a priority is essential when navigating this season. If you hire independent caregivers, consider pre-screening applicants and conducting a final interview with your parents’ involvement. After the interview, ask for input and emphasize how much you value their well-being and preferences. If you hire through an agency, you can still honor your parent’s autonomy by communicating what type of help they want, and when. Consider creating a chore chart for caregivers with your parents’ input or a grocery list through their local grocery store’s app. Having the power to get the same brand or flavor of sandwich bread they’ve always purchased is a small touch that goes a long way toward preserving independence.

• Give it time. If nothing is overtly wrong with caregivers but the right fit seems impossible to find, encourage your parents to opt for a trial period. Sometimes a few weeks is all you need to settle in and learn how to communicate with a new caregiver. 

• Ask why they don’t like their caregiver. If your parents are dissatisfied with their care, It may take a little patience and some digging to understand the deeper issues. Providing a safe, private environment for an honest conversation may uncover solvable issues, like asking a caregiver to leave the room when a guest visits or preparing food that isn’t as spicy.
• Set caregivers up for success. Sometimes it’s less about finding the right fit and more about equipping caregivers to be the right fit. You know how Mom likes the bed made and that Dad loves baseball but can’t always remember how to find the right channel. Communicating preferences like these to caregivers can help them and your parents settle into a comfortable rhythm much more quickly, with fewer hiccups.

Hiring and organizing in-home care for your parents can be a bumpy road, but it’s important to remember what a gift it is for them to remain in their home and for you to facilitate it. As they navigate the physical and emotional challenges of growing older, and as you support them, this season can also provide an opportunity to improve communication and grow closer. It may not be easy, but it’s a special way to love and serve the people who have done the same for you since day one. Click here for more tips on caring for your parents.